Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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