I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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