You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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