you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize