My pussy is not your playground.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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