I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
