people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
