I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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