I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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