areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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