Screwed.edu
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
