Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
