Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
