i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
