when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
