He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
