I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
