They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
