Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
