I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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