I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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