And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
