He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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