if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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