I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
