hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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