Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
