Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
