Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
