Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
