Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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