I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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