If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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