I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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