I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
