his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
