How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
