i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
