Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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