so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
