the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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