Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i drank out of a bidet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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