The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
