dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
