these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
