Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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