Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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