Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
