bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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