Pappa wants mamma naked
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
God, you're like boner-b-gone
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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