Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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