at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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