I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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