Do you still have your period?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize