Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
