so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
