You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
