Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
