He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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