it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
