WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My vagina is very pro this idea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
