i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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