Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
