u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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