he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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