We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
