she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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