found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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