My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
